So this is marriage.

       People take marriage so damned seriously. Don't get me wrong, binding yourself to another human for the rest of your everlasting life, never to be romantically or emotionally invested in another should be considered a big deal. In my experience, the more you pull the "married" card, the less successful your marriage feels. When I met my husband, I was barely old enough to drive legally. We fell in "love" immediately and decided that we were it to each other. Thank goodness it worked out... I can't imagine how stupid we must've looked to the people around us.
       Is it weird that I still don't feel married? Even after carrying his children, washing his laundry, laughing and crying with him through the chapters of our lives together..still. I feel like we are best friends before husband and wife. This works for us. When I say people take marriage too seriously, I mean that they put so much emphasis on the word and not enough on the meaning. Just because you're married now, should not mean that your spouse needs to suddenly conform to your idea of what a husband or wife should be. Why do we want the person we married to then change in turn? I'm well aware that I need to practice as I preach.
      Now, I don't mean you shouldn't sweat the little things. If he won't put the toilet seat down and your sleepy behind is getting a dose of cold water at 3 am, yes..by all means, holler at him. If he brews coffee first thing in the morning and you're coaxed out of your warm slumber with thoughts of a hot cup of Joe, only to find an empty pot and his full travel mug headed out the door, sure..I totally get it..sometimes I too consider taking a frying pan to his head. These are easily changeable attributes that your spouse can work on. It's when we get angry at them for things they can't easily change..that's when the situation gets sticky.
   Recently during a rare spat between my husband and I, I asked him " what more do you want from me?" he calmly replied " I want nothing from you. Just love me and don't get angry at me." OH. That's it, huh? Why are the easiest things sometimes (always) the hardest to achieve? I spent so much of our early married years trying to groom him into someone I could stand..when that wasn't fair to him. I since have just accepted him, tried to take his quirks in stride and put less emphasis on us being married, putting more on being partners and companions in life. Being married has been one of the hardest, most fulfilling of journeys..the weather beaten path of our life together becoming clearer and less gnarled with each twist and turn. I have to keep reminding myself..just love him. Love him for who he was, is and will be. Imagine this life without him and let go of the things that don't matter. Be his friend. Be his wife, if there is any difference between the two.